November 2004



Awakening parts of ourselves brings up new elements of who we are, new needs, new questions, new desires. To imagine that you will always think the way you think, want what you currently want, remain exactly as you are at this moment, would be silly, ludicrous, crazy even. So why is it that we fool ourselves into saying to ourselves and others that “everything is okay the way that it is?”

Don’t get me wrong, there is a certain beauty to loving exactly where you’re at in your life, enjoying the richness of experience and being present with what is. What I am talking about are those areas in your life where you might not be telling the whole truth, be it to yourself or to others.

Imagine for example, that over the past couple years you have become more interested in expressing your creative self. You love taking art classes and think it is a fun hobby and it brings you more joy than anything in your life to be creative. However, you have an “okay” job that makes good money, and being an artist seems risky, gypsy-ish and just plain impractical. What is the truth? The truth is you love creating art and it brings you close to bliss. The truth is you’d be thrilled to make it a greater part of your life, even a part-time job.

Opening Your Eyes
Occasionally it takes an external factor to wake you up and open your eyes to the world before you. Perhaps it takes a friend, boss, spouse to see something in you that you can’t see for yourself. A pivotal experience for me was my 3rd summer at Camp Echo Lake. The waterfront director position was open and Morry, the camp director wanted me to do it. 21 years old and feeling overmatched, I argued I wasn’t ready. I was scared. I felt like a little bird in the comfortable nest, peering out over the edge toward certain death. I couldn’t see I had wings but Morry could.

And so he bumped me out of the nest and sure enough, I FLEW! Then I could see the world I had been missing. Amazing things became visible once I took the leap and could acknowledge that deep down I wanted it, wanted more, wanted to grow. And to think I never would have known the beauty.

In what way are you squeezing your eyes shut to an opportunity, a choice, a way of living? Perhaps someone brought it to your attention or maybe you know it deep down but are afraid to admit it.

Honor Your Truth
Once you open your eyes to your deepest truths, then it is up to you to honor them. I can’t say I’ve never lived in denial. I can’t say I haven’t done it for years in some cases. Did I want to incorporate intuitive work into my business? Not really. There were a great number of fears of judgment and rejection and it felt too uncomfortable, too scary. Yet, finally when things weren’t really going my way I had to look at it and see it was already part of me and there was no point in denying what was already true. It was essential I honor the truth.

Begin by journaling, uncovering your hidden truths. Then start sharing bits and pieces with people you love and trust. Embrace the willingness to be vulnerable, to “expose” a bit more of who you are (please keep your clothes on!).

Overcoming Fear and Judgment
Unbeknownst to us, we learn to fear. We weren’t born with it. Look at toddlers. Unfortunately we also learn to judge ourselves (you know, that critical voice in your head), saying “what a stupid idea,” “You can’t possibly do that!” “That is the wrong way to do that, you will surely be punished.” WHAT THE HECK?!

How is this remotely helpful?

Please, I beg you, let go of what that little critical voice says, let go of visions of failure. Who is going to live your life if you don’t? You must believe that the opportunity wouldn’t appear if you weren’t ready to embrace it; you’re your boss, friend, lover wouldn’t recognize your potential if it weren’t there.

Make your truth and what you want bigger than the fear, bigger than any obstacles that may stand in your way. Keep your eye on the outcome you desire.

Tell the People Who Need to Hear It — Lovingly
Other people in your life may not be as excited about your discovery, your truth. It may exclude them, threaten them, rock their foundation. It could create suffering in you or another, hurt feelings, it could leave someone clamoring for a new solution (is this a bad thing?). Remember that you cannot control the wind. In other words, you cannot control the reaction of another or any challenges that result for them; you cannot control the absolute outcome. You can only tell the truth and live the life you were given.

However you can deliver your truth in a loving way. Being honest and strong does not equate to being rude or abrupt. Expressing your needs, your desires, your intended changes, is perhaps the highest form of love you can show for yourself and others. Do not justify or try to convince. It is not about “making it right” or having your boss, friend, wife, boyfriend be on your side. It is about you aligning with yourself. And who knows, they may be pulled into their own amazing transformation because of your choice.

How Your Life Opens Up
Upon “outing” the truth, be prepared for the floodgates to open. Though it can be challenging, it is like pulling the wrapping paper off the beloved gift you’ve always wanted. If what you say and desire comes from an honest and pure place, joy will be there to greet you.

How can you be more honest with yourself? How can you be more honest in your relationships? How can you honor yourself so much that you must tell the truth?

Remember the old adage, “And the truth shall set you free.”

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