Getting Into Action: Endings for New Beginnings
February 2006
Postponing life
How often do we postpone necessary change? We stay in situations that we’ve outgrown for a variety of reasons. When we “wait for the right time,” we are actually postponing life.
Most of the reasons we postpone change and life boil down to fear…fear of suffering, pain, loss, hurting another, starting over, failure, making a mistake, regret, guilt, confusion, lack of motivation, concern of never having “x” again, sacrifice, etc.
Every day you don’t take action, it drains you, creating suffering and internal conflict. This is very damaging to your sense of self and mental, physical and emotional balance.
When to Say When…
There’s no formula of certainty that tells when you are “done” with your experience. Only you know. Maybe it’s time once you’ve exhausted all options to remedy the situation…whether work or relationship or simply a project you keep putting off. Some other “signals” might be:
- anger, exhaustion and lacking motivation to do/ be with “x”
- over-working at home or in biz to avoid your situation
- increased “partying”-- late nights, food, alcohol, drugs…
- a nagging sense of uncertainty that you can actually “feel” in your body…tightness in your belly, your heart, your back
- wishing you would just get fired or dumped so you don’t have to do it!
The question is, what are you postponing?
Trust
It takes great faith to trust yourself-- to take a risk for yourself, to live your potential more fully, to be willing to release one element for the possibility of having something greater. One client who’d been in a mediocre relationship for several years finally took the leap to leave, and within weeks met a most amazing man. She can’t believe she stayed stuck so long. True: You might never know for sure (until after you leap.) For me, uncertainty is equivalent to “no.” In other words, when something is right, I have no “figuring out,” trying to make it work or hoping that it will change. Uncertainty therefore, is my cue that a situation is not right. The more I listen to this, the smoother my life.
Accepting What Is
Often we remain in our situation with the hopes that it will change. We must be really honest with ourselves. After getting into action, most people admit that they knew things weren’t right yet pretended and hoped their gut feeling would change. Accept and love what is rather than wait for conditional happiness based on hoped-for change. You can only change you and your immediate environments. (Great change can occur if all parties share a vision and high level of commitment to it.)
Accepting What Is
Of course it sounds easy and black and white…except when it is your own life. Conscious living and change take great courage. I truly believe we are never given more than we can handle. Now please don’t quit your job or leave your relationship tomorrow. First create a vision of what you want, rather than running from what you don’t want. Respond rather than react. It doesn’t have to be “bad.” Be kind, intentional, and where appropriate, loving. Honor the learning and growth the experience provided, express gratitude and move forward, trusting yourself.
I know it isn’t easy. Just remember you have great potential. You are an ever-evolving human being. It is okay that you are changing and it is imperative that you continue taking action in your life to avoid stagnancy. Grow, trust, reach into the depths of your courage and listen to your own truth. Endings create space for new beginnings. You’ll be amazed at the relief you feel, simply getting into action. Live now.
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