Staying on the Wagon
Creating a Compelling Reason
March 2005



As we all might know there is a significant distinction between beginning change and maintaining it. The New Year’s resolutions you were so on fire about are perhaps starting to fall away. What now? How are you going to keep focused on all those big desires, the excellent self-care, the career aspirations?

You may believe it is all about will-power. Personally I believe will-power is overrated and useful only in spurts, for short-term, and not the mainstay for lasting change. Eventually you tire of making yourself do something. Where is the joy in that? Forcing yourself to do something that makes you feel good creates a strange dynamic that not surprisingly, steals enthusiasm and motivation.

Gradual and Enjoyable Change Will Last
Time and time again I see people trying to muscle their way through change. Weight loss is a perfect example. The progression looks a bit like this: Diet (include salads & raw veggies, exclude favorite and flavorful foods) — lose some weight (while tolerating the diet) — ”treat yourself” every so often and talk about how “bad” it was to eat the treat — eventually go off the diet or resume your previous food plan. Exercise looks pretty much the same.

I would like to introduce you to the idea of joy, pleasure or fun. Pleasure is having a sense of fulfillment. Isn’t that more appealing than force? What would happen if you could get to your end result while incorporating steps that are not only wildly gradual but also pleasure-inducing?

Example: Select a night to stay at home or invite friends over and create a wonderful, bright, vibrant meal. See how many different colors you can include via veggies and try a new recipe. Light candles, put on your favorite music, set the tone for the type of atmosphere that uplifts you. If you like excitement, choose music and food that matches; if sensual beckons you, dim the lights, have finger foods that are packed with flavor such as fresh fruit or olives. Enjoy every moment. Delight in the flavors, the setting, the sensory experience. Fully taste your food and start to understand your relationship with it — it is not merely fuel to dump down the hatch until the next pit stop but an ally that can keep your moods stable and your energy high!

When you shift your thinking and approach to a challenge or intention and introduce enjoyment, you are on track to create lasting change. The benefits are palpable and make an impression, beginning to rewire your relationship with your desired outcome and process.

Re-evaluate Your Motivation
This is a key component that I have seen repeatedly with clients. The way our society is set up, we often look to outside feedback to motivate us and make us feel successful — deadlines imposed by the boss, performance reviews, others telling us we look good or bad. We are not trained to create intrinsic motivation — from the inside out, where we feel great about our choices without anyone else having to give their approval or opinion. This weakens our sense of self, our ability to trust and to motivate ourselves.

It is vital that you begin to explore what it is that lights you up, inspires you, makes you smile. To create permanent change, it is essential to understand the why’s of your desire — why do you really want this change for yourself? These are your motivators. You much discover your excitement to carry your through long-term. Do you want the change to feel vibrantly alive, to eliminate fatigue, to raise confidence and attract love? Find the bigger reason.

Also explore your desires. Sit down and list all your desires related to home, relationships, career, finances, emotions, spirituality, community, travel, creativity. When you review it you may see some patterns emerging. Do you desire things that are calming, nurturing, exciting, expansive, inward, ones that relate to health, wealth, happiness? Motivation comes from the overlap of the why and your desires. Unearth your motivation and you’ve got a real plan for success that will prevail.

Every Moment a Choice
Consider the hundreds of decisions you make every day. Each moment you are choosing. Right now you are choosing to read this. You can have all the knowledge in the world, know everything that you need to do for yourself, but like in voting, unless you exercise your power to choose, it has no effect.

Try for the next hour to be deeply present with yourself so that you are aware of each moment being a choice. Will you choose to stay focused on the task at hand or to go to the water cooler or fridge for a break? Will you make personal phone calls or work calls? Will you eat candy or drink water? Will you think about yourself in a positive light or will you choose to be hard on yourself?

With every moment being a choice, each moment is an opportunity to begin again. You may start fresh this moment by re-choosing your intentions for this week or from New Year’s. You may re-commit to yourself to take breaks and get outside. Whatever it is, remember that every single moment of the day is a time to choose, be it for your career, relationship, wellness or spirit.

Enjoy the choices!

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