Living Awake: Choosing the fullness of life
March 2006

“How much longer will you go on letting your energy sleep?
How much longer are you going to stay oblivious of the immensity of yourself? 
Don’t lose time in conflict; lose no time in doubt-
time can never be recovered and if you miss an opportunity
it may take many lives before another comes your way again.”
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh from A Cup of Tea

Many of us have experienced “living asleep,” whether for a period of time or in one area of life.  We’ve gone through the motions of living, barely aware of our actions or the outcomes…we just “lived.”  And then, something jolted us awake--love, death, suffering, inspiration…and suddenly we stood with new eyes upon our life, wondering how we’d lived asleep for so long.

And now?  Are you awake now?  In what ways do you intentionally choose the way you live and how you act?  Relationships, work, environments, your sense of self.  How much of your life is simply happening and how much of it is on purpose, because you wish it to be this way?  Are you fully participating in your life?

Yes, there are times when we “have to” do certain things.  And yet, we still get to choose how to do “it,” how to relate to it.

Shaking Yourself Awake
You may choose to wait for your next jolt, or as in a dream, you can become aware, and shake yourself awake.  Begin to take inventory of your life, the people in it, your daily routine, the food you put into your body, your values, your goals, your desires.  What are they?  Why do you do what you do?

What time do you get up in the morning and why?  Do you stay in bed until the last possible moment and drag your resistant, sleepy self into the shower?  Why?  (Parents of newborns exempt!).  Do you rationalize a reason for being so tired or can you see that ultimately, you have chosen it?  Do you love the luxury of rising slowly, lounging your way into the day?

Is this what you want?

If yes, fabulous.  If no, what DO you want?

If you are in marriage or relationship, are you really IN, or are you going through the motions…the gratuitous kiss in the morning and standard end-of-day review when you come home?  Are you taking time to connect with your partner, to really sit with them, listen, be together if only for a few minutes?  Do you carve out time for important conversation, to communicate what your concerns and celebrations are, to love and cherish who they are?  If you are really IN, congratulations!  My guess is that you are in the minority.  (P.S.  Please share your secrets with me so I can pass them along!)

I’m Awake. Oh no…
“Now what?  Now you’ve got me looking at my life and suddenly I realize I am miserable.  Being asleep was so much easier!  Now I can see everything that is not the way I want it.”

A dilemma, right?

I’d invite you to experiment with waking up in one or more areas of your life and simply become aware of how you move through your day.  Pay attention.  Drive the car while driving car instead of talking on the phone or (yikes) putting on your mascara or shaving!  (Seriously, people?!)

Consider not multi-tasking through your next conversation.  Listen.  Really listen.  For your next deadline, consciously choose to do the work, because you’ve decided to, rather than because you have to.  It feels really different somehow!  The next time you go home, choose to express love to your partner with a kind word or a sincere hug and kiss…with awareness.  They will feel it even if you don’t tell them what you are doing.

This alone is a powerful shift.

Once you start participating more in your life on purpose, then you will have more clarity about whether you are actually miserable and need to change venues, or if the sleeping created the dynamic of feeling unhappy.  Often it is not the job or the partner, it is how you are “showing up” that makes it appear unfulfilling.  Sure the next new job or partner may be confetti-worthy for the first many months, but if you aren’t participating, choosing, acting with awareness and integrity, history is likely to repeat itself.  Once you become aware that you were sleeping, the shift begins.  Once you decide to remain awake, live intentionally, choose how you “do” life, it reinforces itself.  The more awake you become, the more awake you wish to be.  So begin simply and simply begin.

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