Being Your Loving Self
May 2005



You were born loving
I believe you were born loving. As infants, that's initially all there is, a bond of love and connection. You give love simply by being who you are and you receive love because initially that is all you can really do. You form an invisible bond with the world around you, parents, family, friends and this is generally a loving bond. Wide open to giving and receiving love without fear. Fear does not yet exist to you.

As life progresses, you may experience the contrary. You receive subtle messages that it is not okay to be yourself or only under certain circumstances, that love is conditional or that you are not worthy of attention, love, acceptance at home or in the outside world. Your wide-open fearless heart begins to seek refuge, closing gradually in some or all settings. Resultantly, though in effort to protect yourself from potential rejection, you actually have severed yourself from your essential nature, that of being loving.

Closed heart
When you close your heart for protection, you also close it to receiving love. It is like with abundance, if you keep your hand closed so tightly to keep the wealth you have, you cannot be open to receiving prosperity. If we are all create walls and shells, then the world becomes filled with mostly-closed people, protecting themselves from rejection, abandonment, fearful of the devastation of loss, while not giving or receiving.

The unfolding
Begin practicing by looking for the good in yourself and others. Look for the good in yourself and love it. Look for the good in others. Practice simply being loving to others. Smile, laugh, play with people, listen, get curious about who they are. Start seeing the human side of people rather than the business they are in, the "role" they play (i.e. boss, sales assistant, homeless person). Let go of labeling and judging-"that person is so…" ugly, stubborn, annoying, hopeless, unkempt... Take time to see who they actually are and experiment with opening to them, loving them. And by love, I simply mean acknowledge, accept, release judgment, be kind, appreciate, and act with compassion. Soon, you will not only notice an opening of others as they respond to you, but a gradual unfolding of yourself that feels like a slice of freedom and joy. You return to your natural state, to who you are, a loving human being.

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