Holding Yourself Back
June 2005



Short-term satisfaction vs. long-term fulfillment
I have my "bad habits" and attachments like anyone else that keep me from what I truly want. What is it about short-term pleasure that reels us in like a fish on a line? Despite being a very aware person, I still make choices that I know are not part of moving me forward or what I want.

Why is that?

What’s your desire?
Desire shows up in many different ways for people. There are those of us who want everything now (the “All or Nothings”), those who suppress desire saying “I’m fine” despite their deep yearning, those who feel they have no idea what they want or who they are, those who turn tail and run back when faced with releasing limitations in order to immerse in new possibilities, those who dream big and run into their destructive inner-critic that deems the dreamer ridiculous, those who keep waiting for our partner to change and see how amazing we are, and finally those who nearly materialize their desire, then bail or sabotage their own efforts. Which one are you?

Thus, desire is tricky and daunting. We are all the same in this struggle. Inside, we brim with desire for travel, love, success, dreams fulfilled, and joy.

And we all have our special way of resisting.

Rising above yourself
Ever had to put your own needs aside to help another? You rise above yourself for the greater good. We all have a purpose in life—whether it is to learn compassion, love, to teach, to protect, to invent, to be an amazing parent…so many varying options. As the calendar days flip by are you getting closer to your purpose or further away? Do you continue to sit in the mud, uncomfortable with how cold and wet you are or do you climb atop the barn to gain perspective and see all that is available to you?

You may think sitting in the mud is easier, taking less energy than moving. However, what actually happens while remaining in the mud, is that the frustration, boredom, dissatisfaction, loneliness, etc. is incredibly draining!

Get up. Walk away. Climb above your situation. Take a vacation. Go on a retreat. Breathe deeply. Stop working yourself to oblivion. Allow love in. Let go. Sit with yourself and explore what you truly want. And please, stop sabotaging yourself.

You can have what you desire
Recently I had an amazing experience while leading visualization for a client. About ¾ of the way through, this academia-minded woman (now uncovering her creative, free self) opened her eyes and said, “I can’t do this.” As she began to imagine all the amazing things she wanted, she was bombarded with her critic and underlying anger about a client whom she found draining. She discovered that part of her didn’t believe that she could have the amazing situation that initially came to mind. However through discussion, she identified and expressed what she wanted. As soon as she decided to let go of the client and let go of trying to “figure it out” (aka allowing), within hours a new opportunity arose that was in perfect alignment with her ideal vision. Needless to say, she was flabbergasted.

Desire combined with intention, willingness and allowing is a dynamic to be reckoned with. Would you rather live a life of constantly holding yourself back or take a chance to be pleasantly surprised? It is up to you. Want to live big?

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