Being You Without Even Trying
An Exercise in Letting Go
August 2006

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Dr. Seuss

Proving Yourself
Have you ever wondered what others think of you?  Maybe you’ve worried that they’re on to you….your weaknesses, your need to work harder, your lack of skill.  This wondering may influence the way you act in various situations; act being the key word.  We often get so stuck trying to prove who we are that we lose track of ourselves and end up exhausted and stressed out.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could know with certainty that people truly saw us for who we are?  What if we could just relax into being ourselves, without trying to prove anything?

The Grappling of Ego
Ego is what keeps us wanting to look good.  It wants to be seen in the best light, to be acknowledged and recognized.  Ego is what causes panic after you’ve done something you wish you hadn’t and prompts you to scramble to recover, to save face.  Ego isn’t really familiar with relaxing and accepting (especially the errors); it stands ready to impress, share a unique factoid, or do some name dropping.  It is quick to explain a mistake and schmooze to sway favor.  It’s not our fault per se, it is simply our wiring and our ego doing its best work—typically we don’t even know we’re doing it!

Trying vs. Being
Most of us strive toward what we, in fact, already are.  Instead of realizing that we already are wise, fun, intelligent, beautiful, we fixate on trying to be these things.  We immerse in trying to be a great parent, trying to be smart, trying to be attractive.  How exhausting.  It is not the stuff we do or have that makes us who we are.  Your best “work” is to be yourself, rather than strive, push or effort to be or be seen in a certain way.  We can’t control how others perceive us anyway, so why waste the energy?  Just because someone may not see your fabulousness, doesn’t mean you’re not fabulous.  All you can do is continuously be your best self, regardless.

Do Your Best and Let Go
Aim to reach your potential, that which you know you are capable of.  Do your best for yourself, for the pleasure of it, because you want to, because it blisses you out, and simply for the sake of doing it.  Resist the urge to do it because of what someone else will think of you.  In time, when we do our best, practice patience, excellence, perseverance, kindness, and relax into ourselves, others will see it.  Or not.  Let go of your attachment to how others perceive you and concentrate on being who you are.  Who you are is enough.

You First
Most often, the person who needs to recognize your greatness is you.  The big breakthrough rests in you believing that you’re remarkable.  Already.  Of course you will make mistakes.  Humans do that.  Sometimes you’ll recover, other times you’ll need to chalk it up to learning and an exercise in letting go.  As soon as you believe in yourself, proving it isn’t necessary.  And life gets a whole lot more fun!

Let go of trying.  Let go of ego.  Do your best.  Know you are amazing.  Be yourself.  Be.

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