Crafting Change: A Partner and A Plan
September 2002



Why wait for New Years Eve to change your life? All you really need is a partner and a plan. Change is a tricky thing and without support and a specific goal, it could take years to manifest your changes.

Breaking Through
Is there a goal that you have been “working towards”, but you simply think about it everyday, talk about it all the time, “I’m going to . . .”, withought actually doing it? Is it something that you really want but you can’t seem to act on? Well perhaps it is time for a new approach, to break through your resistance.

Change Takes Change
No kidding! Something must give and often it is about a willingness to change. You can “wish” all you want, but until you are ready, willing and taking action, it doesn’t bring you any closer to the desired outcome.

Using the Side Door
Perhaps your goal is to lose weight . . . there are several approaches you can take. You can diet, you can read books and eliminate certain foods, you can exercise, you can drink more water, etc. You know the routine, if you’ve ever tried to lose weight before. But what about making the goal focus on something else? What about focusing on the various activities that you can do once you lose weight, a tournament you can enter, a race you can participate in, a certain # of miles which when reached equals a specific reward (buy a pedometer to keep track of your daily steps). At times we need to look at a problem side-ways and work toward a different objective that will inadvertently produce the intended goal.

Planning into Action
Writing works best for many of us, but you can paint, draw, tape record ideas or come up with your own method.
1. Begin with your top goals (no point trying to please others on this one), then narrow it to two or three, and get specific.
2. Use the “side door” approach or a direct approach, and break each down into mile-markers or mini-steps with specific dates assigned. (Tip: must be realistic!)
3. Start . . . with mini-steps or anything that shifts your attention positively to your goal. Perhaps it is writing your goal or intention on a notecard and carrying it in your pocket to remind you. Maybe it is leaving yourself a motivational message on your own voice mail or journaling about what outcomes will result by moving forward on your goal.
4. Eliminate hurdles. Often we are held back by obstacles and those need to be cleared before we can progress. (I.e. maybe you need to throw away the old clothes that will never fit and make you feel bad, and buy one great outfit that you’ll feel terrific in as you work toward your goal.)

Inviting a Partner
Though many of us are independent achievers, teamwork helps. Be it a person you hire as a coach to explore new perspectives and creative solutions, or your neighbor who has a similar “want”, and could use the support as well. From my experience, we are most successful when supported by others — whether through simple understanding, encouragement, the community feeling, or sharing the challenge together. (Of course I think you should do both if you can, to ensure progress and benefit from the specific tools and resources coaches offer and to fortify your potential for success by working with a buddy!)

Do It or Let It Go
There is a difference between quitting and releasing. In part, creating change is about timing. In part, creating change is about making time. There may be a goal that you have carried around too long and it is time to reframe it, modify it or simply let it go. And when you let it go, enjoy the relief of a creating a new, exciting one. There is no weakness in releasing a goal that you feel “stuck” on.

However, if you are determined to create this particular change, do it. Identify delays and ask yourself how you can eliminate them. Rate your level of commitment and level of motivation and if either is lower than an 8 perhaps it is the wrong goal or it needs modification . . . aim for a goal that lights the fire of a “10”!

Do plan, do partner and don’t delay. What would it be worth to be living your goal everyday?

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