In the Gap
September 2005



The unknown
During transitions there is a time period that I’ll call “the gap.” It is the time between the front end of a change and when the rest of the pieces fall into place. The gap can teem with uncertainty, the unknown and potential fear and desire to just “figure things out.” It can last an hour or years. It can be a very uncomfortable place to be or it can be a time of major focus and commitment to yourself and your intentions.

You leapt! now what?
Congratulations, you took the leap of faith toward a bigger future! You finally got into action, putting change in motion, and were willing to risk loss, failure and success. You took the time to gain clarity about what you wanted, decided to act, and now you’re changing your life! Now what? You may feel you are ready for “it” to all come together…ready for the job, the relationship, the promotion, the bliss, and yet hurdles arise or things just seem to be dragging. “What? Why isn’t it coming together; why is it taking sooo long? Was it a mistake?”

No mistake. It’s all perfect. The gap is imperative.

A purposeful gap
The gap may feel like torture; you want your results yesterday. “I did A, B, and C, now where’s my D?” Consider on some levels the gap is there to test your level of commitment to your cause. Perhaps there is a bit more “inside work” to be done and that although you think you are ready, added time or learning may make the final outcome even better. Make the most of this delay. Sitting in worry, fear, anger, disappointment, impatience or depression serves no one. Why not undertake it with joy and a sense of purpose? Consider too, that the gap may have nothing to do with you! It may have to do with other people or opportunities not being quite ready—that it is in the works and will come together soon.

Bridging the gap
The most graceful way to move through a gap is by being present with it and living everyday with intention and joy. You cannot control the when and the how of your desired outcome. You can choose your attitude and to stay in the now rather than laboring over the unknown “when.” Choose, every day, to re-affirm how your choice is perfect and how you are ready. Choose, every day to do whatever it takes to fill your life from the inside out…rather than relying on “D” to make you feel complete, get complete in and of yourself. Continue to ask big questions like, “In my last job/ relationship/ venture, what unhealthy thoughts, habits or actions did I have? What do I typically do/say/think that is not helpful that I might repeat? How do I know I am ready for this outcome? Why do I want this outcome so badly…what are my motives, how will it serve me and others?”

Spend time with uplifting people, write down your dreams, listen to music that inspires you, practice using your creativity, tell people in your life that you love them, take inventory of all the things for which you are grateful, imagine the outcome that you desire and feel it as though it were already true…do whatever you can to FEEL GOOD and enjoy the gap!

And then one day…
Then one day when you are engrossed in the fullness of your life, in developing your best self, your desired outcome will likely just “show up” in a very easy, natural way. It will not likely be something you’ve had to struggle with to make happen. It just comes. And when it comes, it all makes perfect sense—the value of the delays and hurdles, and the learning that had to precede the outcome.

So when you find yourself in the gap, do whatever you can to re-commit to your change, raise yourself up, remain present while enthusiastically envisioning your desired outcome, ask big questions and know that the rest will follow.

Happy Autumn (nearly!)

Much joy,
Robin

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